Honorée Corder

BlogathonATX

In Uncategorized on October 19, 2013 at 7:17 pm

Photo on 10-19-13 at 11.00 AM

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Breakup to Breakdown to Breakthrough

In breakdown, breakthrough, breakup, Happiness Action Steps, Relationships, The Successful Single Mom Finds Love on October 15, 2013 at 5:00 am

Going through a breakup is, quite possibly, one of the most painful non-physical events a person can go through. I remember feeling like my heart had literally been ripped out of my chest, and I would close my eyes and wish the pain would just magically disappear.

What I know from personal experience, and from helping lots and lots of single moms process their breakups, is that there is indeed a breakdown that occurs as part of the process of finding oneself on the other side of a breakup. That’s the “bad” news. The good news is on the other side of your breakdown is your breakthrough

What happens as a result of your breakthrough? Well let me tell you sister! 


# You feel amazing. No good, not great, a-maz-ing. Your highest high is in direct proportion to your lowest low. If you can imagine feeling as good as you do bad, that’s it … that’s what is in store for you.

# You smile a lot. One of my good friends said that one of her good friends could tell I was going through a rough time {i.e., my divorce and early post-divorce} because she could see it on my face. A year or two later, I ran into her while I was out shopping … her comment to our mutual friend was that I was clearly in a much better place. In fact, she wanted to be in the good place I was in!

# You will have never-before-seen confidence. There was a day in your past when you had swagger. You felt good, you looked good, and you knew it. Think back and remember that day, then multiply how you felt times about a hundred. That’s how you’re going to feel after you breakthrough and make it through to the other side.

What’s involved in this breakthrough I speak of? First, after your breakup, is your breakdown. This is where you feel probably more sad than you’ve ever felt, more hopeless than you could have imagined you could feel, and more doubtful than ever before. 

When you’re in the midst of your breakdown, you may still be in the midst of your divorce. So even though the breakup has already happened, you may have loose ends to tie up and you may even have many months before your divorce is final. That’s okay, keep going. Take your life one day at a time. 

At some point, you will realize you are finally feeling a little better, and begin to feel like doing the little things that contribute to your overall happiness. You might take your BFF up on her invitation for brunch or a night of dancing. You may start to read books that infuse thoughts of hope and possibility into your consciousness. You even laugh out loud at a funny joke or even at yourself … for the first time in a long time. You will realize that you are his loss, and that someone new is going to gain a whole lot by hanging out with someone as awesome-sauce as you!

Once these tiny shifts start to occur, you’re well on your way to your breakthrough and your new life. While one big prodigious breakthrough would be welcome, your breakthrough most likely will come in bits and pieces, one day after the other, until you feel like your old self again, only a better and even happier version.

Keep putting one foot in front of the other, and soon you will be feeling wonderful again!

YOU MAY ALSO WANT TO READ:

Happy Divorce to You! {TSSM}
How to be Grateful for Your Ex {TSSM}
This Former Single Mom Found Love Again and So Can You! {TSSM}

You Owe It to Yourself and Your Kids to be Sexy, Hot Mama

In Bethenny Frankel, diet, exercise, Fergie, food, Health and Fitness, meditation, Naturally Thin, The Successful Single Mom Gets Fit on October 12, 2013 at 5:00 am

Fergie is indeed looking Fergalicious after recently having a baby. Now don’t get all cranky because I used a celebrity to demonstrate “sexy and hot” after baby … I mean, how many of you took before and after pics for me to use? Exactly.

As single mothers, our physical bodies are the easiest thing to ignore because there are so many other items on our to do lists. But you can’t leave your health to chance, and you must put fitness on your list, near the top. You can have your pre-baby body, in fact, you can be even better after baby … or babies! There is even a school of thought that suggests women are stronger, better and faster after having children. So if you’ve been under the assumption that you’ve had kids so you’re stuck with a body you don’t love, think again.


Getting a body you love starts with loving yourself. Loving yourself includes taking the time to get your sweat on. It also includes using food to fuel your life, and getting enough rest. Single moms can find themselves overweight, overwhelmed and overtired, and I believe you not only can avoid all three of those, you can find an awesome balance!

As I wrote about in The Successful Single Mom Gets Fit!, it doesn’t take a ton of time to give yourself the three gifts of health and fitness: 

  • Move and Breathe
  • Refuel and Replenish
  • Rest and Recharge
As a matter of fact, I make the case for a daily quick workout of just 25 minutes or less. I’ve been working out for years doing just 20 minutes of cardio three days a week, and 20-25 minutes of weightlifting three days a week, with a day of rest. You can move your body to burn fat, increase your metabolism, and my favorite part, release the endorphins that put you in an awesome mood.

As you can see, it’s not just about “moving and breathing,” I also think it’s important to eat really well. I think it’s really important, the majority of the time, to “eat to live” instead of “living to eat.” I love how Bethenny talks about food noise and gives some really great tips on how to eliminate food noise. You can find a link to her book below.

When I finally made getting enough sleep a priority, and incorporated meditation into my life, I literally became a new woman.

You are modeling what a strong, successful woman can be like for your kids. You deserve to look and feel amazing. I’m not talking Hollywood Size 0 “I have a trainer and a private chef” skinny. I’m talking “healthy and fit and damn proud of it” fit and healthy. 

You’re just a few minutes a day away from living in a body you’re proud of, and feeling stronger and better than ever. All it takes is a commitment to yourself! Is today the day you start?

YOU MAY ALSO WANT TO READ:

Naturally ThinUnleash Your SkinnyGirl and Free Yourself from a Lifetime of Dieting {Bethenny Frankel}